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Sticking It Out
November 1, 2014 Mom loves pictures of hands Adam had been up with my mom since 4a.m. He’d made her coffee, grated her some apples – but she vomited up the apple. “It’s just an apple,” she said,...
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The End of Suffering vs. The Will to Live
November 4, 2014 Mom and Adam in the kitchen store Mom reached for her lamp in the night and fell out of bed. It was a little after 4am. Adam heard her calling and helped her back to bed. He recorded a...
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Days of Reckoning – and Waiting
Candy wheels around our mother For a little over a week after the rapid decline of my mother and her friends’ concerns brought me to my mother’s, I was in a state of shock – it all felt so surreal –...
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I Did Everything Right
November 8, 2014 Last night I was sitting with Mom in bed when Mom asked Candy to join us too. Because she didn’t want to make Mom move over, Candy got herself into an uncomfortable position with one...
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Not Enough World and Not Enough Time
November 10, 2014 Cont’d 6:55p.m. Today felt a bit more blah than yesterday. Aggravation with landlord. Mom’s complaints and my telling her she sounds like an ingrate. “Oh, kick me when I’m down,” she...
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Not Getting Better
Thursday November 13, 2014 Adam comes to my room to let me know my mother is pretty alert, so I get up and go to her. After we have been talking for a while, she says, “I need something that’s going to...
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Love and Confusion
Sunday November 16, 2014 Last night at around midnight she called to go to the bathroom. Adam heard her first and when I walked out she was already on her commode. “Let’s give her some privacy,” Adam...
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Words Seem to be Important to Me
Wednesday November 19, 2014 Today she is more exasperated than ever. Irritated to repeat herself, explain herself, or be asked any question. The non sequiturs are more frequent, and in fact have become...
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To Ferry to the Other Side
Friday November 21, 2014 I don’t know how I got here. Do I have to leave? No, you don’t have to leave. This is your home. lThere are bits and pieces, she says, looking around. Some things are familiar,...
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The Last Camino
December 18, 2014 On November 24, I stopped publishing my writings on my mom’s last camino. I have a number of theories about why that is, but one must surely be that I simply had nothing new to say,...
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